Friday, November 11, 2016


I was in much need of a sounding board.
Steve has been meeting with a guy named Terry.
I just couldn't bring myself to start over with someone I didn't know.
I needed a friend who has known me for a long time,
who has seen the highs and lows,
who knows some of the struggles I have faced.
I thought of two people, Leeann Stutzman and Joni Balian.

When Frontier sent an email that flights to Bozeman were discounted, I jumped on it.
I flew out on Tuesday and came home late last night.

I loved being with Joni.
We literally sat and talked almost the entire time.
Joe, Lydia, and Kendra are the only 3 at home.
All the other Balians have gotten married, except Anna, who is at her DTS.

Joni is a great sounding board.
She listens well and doesn't judge.
She offers input and encouragement and shares her experiences.
It's such a gift to call her friend.

Home has been hard.
There's been much conflict between Shiloh and Landon ...
and me and each of them,
and Steve and me,
and Steve and them.
The Littles certainly play a role, but only a small one.
I wish I knew how to overcome my anger and frustration, and not be a part of the conflict.

I'd like to have Joni's words stick with me for a long time.
I wish I could just wave a wand.
But I know nothing is that easy.

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